If this is America, the "Land of the Free", then can someone please
tell me why the following laws are all active Newport Beach Municipal Codes (NBMC)?
Whew! That was a long list. And I only picked the good ones! Sorry for the annotations,
but some of these are a little wordy. However, I can assure you that I did not change
the context of the code (as of February 1, 2003). Feel free to click on the link below
to see all of the ordinances in their entirety.
Now, did they forget any other method that any person, young or old, could
possibly enjoy themselves?
I'm beginning to realize why all of my international friends laughed at me
in college when I told them that I live in a "Free Country".
To see all of the Newport Beach Municipal Code in its entirety
If you ask us, we should charge any councilman who voted for these ordinances with the
following federal crime:
Title 18 U.S.C. S 241. Conspiracy Against Rights:
"If two or more persons conspire to injure, oppress, threaten, or intimidate any
person in any State, Territory, Commonwealth, Possession, or District in the
free exercise or enjoyment of any right or privilege secured to him by the
Constitution or laws of the United States, or because of his having so
exercised the same; . . . they shall be fined under this title or imprisoned
not more than ten years."
- NBMC 5.32.090. "It shall be unlawful for any person to dance in any
establishment which does not hold a cafe dance permit as required by this
chapter after being ordered to refrain from dancing by the owner, lessee,
manager or other person in charge of such establishment or by any police
officer." ("911, what's your emergency?" - "They're dancing in there!
Please make them stop!")
- NBMC 5.34.020. "No person shall keep, maintain or possess in any place of
business open to the public one or more pool tables or amusement devices
without first having obtained a permit to do so in accordinance with this
chapter." ("Yes officer, I recall seeing the words 'Pac Man' at the top")
- NBMC 10.08.010. "No person shall loiter, stand or sit in or on any public
sidewalk or public walkway area except the one-half of the sidewalk or
walkway nearest the adjoining property..." (This one almost got me. See
the "NB Police" link.)
- NBMC 11.02.010. "No person shall carry on, or assist in carrying on any
amusement, or entertainment to which the public is invited, or in which the
public may participate, or any public or semi-public dance, at any time
between the hours of two a.m. and seven a.m. of any day." (Now Martha, that
bingo game is running a little late!)
- NBMC 11.04.020. "No person shall do any of the following acts, or engage in
any of the following specified conduct, within any park:"
"B. Drive propel, ride, park or leave standing any bicycle..."
"C. Hit, strike or chip a golf ball except in [designated areas]..."
"G. Use of rollerblades , rollerskates, or skateboards on any public tennis court."
(can we roll rocks?)
- NBMC 11.08.010. "No person shall install, erect, or place any sign,
recreational equipment (such as volleyball or badminton pole/net, portable
play apparatus, and trampoline), fence, fire pit or barbecue, or similar
encroachment on any public bay beach, ocean beach, tideland or park unless
authorized or permitted to do so ... (You know the End is Near when even
badminton is illegal!)
- NBMC 11.08.020. "No person shall erect umbrellas upon that part of the
beach or shore of the Pacific Ocean within the City which lies southerly of
the southerly line of Ocean Avenue and Ocean Front or public streets of the
City, if the same shall have side wall attached thereto; and shall at all
times while the same are erected, be fully exposed from all sides to the
public view. (These guys have entirely too much time on their hands!)
- NBMC 11.08.040. "It is unlawful for any person to occupy for the purpose of
sleeping or living any vehicle parked any place within the corporate limits
of the City of Newport Beach, provided, however, this section shall not
apply to persons sleeping in any vehicle situated within an area designated
for overnight camping... (You can't even legally sleep off that hangover
- NBMC 11.16.030. "No person shall have in his possession or use a surfboard,
paddleboard, or similar device at any place in the Pacific Ocean within the
City except within designated surfing areas on such dates and during such
hours when surfing is permitted... (You can't even POSSESS a surfboard
except in designated areas!)
- NBMC 12.48.040. This one pertains to curb markings. "No person shall stop,
stand, or park a vehicle adjacent to any such sign or legible curb marking
in violation of such size or marking or any of the provisions of this
section." (Standing is the keyword here - check out my "NB Police" link.)
- NBMC 12.57.020. "Skateboarding shall be prohibited on all public streets,
sidewalks, parking lots and other public property located in the City of
Newport Beach having a grade of six percent or more (kids, get out your
protractors!) and which are declared by resolution of the City Council to be
hazardous to pedestrians, motorists or persons operating skateboards..."
(Show me one kid that knows what a 6% grade is.)
- NBMC 12.57.025. "Rollerskating shall be prohibited on all public streets,
sidewalks, parking lots and other public property in the City of Newport
Beach which are declared by resolution of the City Council to be hazardous
to pedestrians, motorists or persons rollerskating." (I'm assuming that
we'll soon have a section 12.57.030 will restrict bikes too!)